Dad's gotten into this "take back the attic and garage" thing going on this month. I guess it's a guy thing. Anyways, because of this he brought all my sister's and my old school work. Mom went through and found things she wanted to save and things that she didn't mind throwing away. I went through a couple of my old writing journals. It made me laugh. And it also made me realize that my spelling has actually gotten better - who would have thought?!

It's good to be home. My break is flying by a little bit - no, a lot too fast. Yet, as everyone keeps saying, certainly it will get better. If I made it this semester, I can make it next. And the next and the next and....O goodness! Let's just take it a semester at a time.

I finally sent out some of my France letters. I know God will provide. Besides, that's the only way I can get the money!

Christmas time is here...

Do you ever wish you were a kid again? I never did until this year. I always thought, "No! I don't wish I were a kid again because that means I wouldn't be content with where I am now." Now that I feel that way, I realize that I was wrong. I wish, at times, to be a kid again, and I am still perfectly content with the life I live. There are times when it leads to a little discontentment. Sometimes it makes me sad. But most times it just makes me remember what it was like to be a child.

Memories mean a lot to me. I have a very good memory and I remember like everything in my life - good and bad. I think back to times when I was sad and my mom would rock me in our blue chair 'till I would fall asleep. I think one night after a very hard day at school I actually just said, "All I want is my mommy to rock me in my blue chair and pretend none of this happened!" Of course, that wouldn't have solved anything, but I thought it. I also remember my cousins and sister ganging up on me, and Christmas.Christmas was my favorite. The decorating, the presents, the cartoon movies about Frosty and Santa Clause. And, of course, the Christmas cookies that we'd always make.

I've heard it my whole life, but time does fly, doesn't it? My sister is now married. Both of my cousins are married as well; one is moved off as well. It's so crazy. I suppose it makes me appreciate memories of my childhood more. I know that years from now I will look back and appreciate memories that I'm making now. I will say, "Man, I wish that I were eighteen again!"

I suppose this was supposed to be a merry Christmas message. Or one to simply say, revel in what you've had and you have now. Enjoy family, friends, God, and life. Enjoy Christmas...I will.

Finals Week

Yes, I should be studying for my Old Testament exam at 7:30, but I just can't focus right now. My thoughts are just whirling around in my head. So, I will let them out. Sound good?

My sister got married on Saturday. It was a beautiful wedding. She was the most beautiful bride. Her, now, husband cried. I watched her walk down the isle with tears in my eyes. They were tears of joy and of sadness. I'm so happy for her, yet, I'm a little sad for me. Walking into my house after break and not seeing her will be hard. I went to borrow a pair of shoes while I was home and I opened her closet to find everything gone. I'm happy, I am, but I'm also sad. I think back to all the things I hated about her when we were growing up. How much I couldn't stand her "perfectness". And everyone would say, "Danielle, she's not perfect..." But she is. She is the most perfect Amanda ever - faults included. I get so frustrated with her, but in the end, I still love her and I always will. I think that's why it's safe to get mad at her. I know that no matter what we'll be friends again before the nights over. She's been a lot of things to me over the years: an annoyance, a role model, a jerk, an encourager, but most of all she's been a hero. I've seen her mess up and say and do things she shouldn't, but I've seen her plead forgiveness. I've seen her become a little distant from God, but I've held her in my arms at 2:30 in the morning praying in tongues as a new passion was birthed inside of her. I've seen her at her best and worst and I love her through both of them. She is the best.

Now that that's outta the way...I leave for home on Wednesday. I can't wait. It's going to come quick, but unfortunately breaks gonna fly by quickly too. I suppose now that I think about how many finals I need to study for I should actually do that.

Happy New Beginning Day!

Well, as I promised, I am ready to write now. Today is December 1 (I know, I know, you learn so much from my posts). That means it is New Beginning Day. No, you won't find that on any calendar, but it's a special day for me. On the first of every month I stop for a moment on my busy day and think about last month. All of the bad, and all of the good. All of things that I regret and things I'm glad I did. Then I take the good, and keep the memories. But with the bad things I find lessons that I need to learn from mistakes and then let them go. And thus, it is a new beginning.

I've got a lot of papers due. My final paper was moved up. I'm stressed. I'm overwhelmed. I'm at peace. I tell you, being here has been the biggest roller-coaster I've ever lived. I read something I wrote a sometime last year and I spoke of wanting adventure. I spoke of longing to be at CBC. O how ironic things are! Now, I am ready to be home. I'm ready to retreat from adventure for awhile. I suppose it's normal. Perhaps it's not, let be honest, not much about me is. But God is faithful. Isn't that the motto of my life? "God is faithful." I sometimes have to repeat it to myself about fifty-seven times a minute, but it never changes. My circumstances change, my stress level increases, my amount of sleep decreases, but my God is always faithful.

I'm going to make time to blow bubbles today. One of my friends here handed me a tube of bubbles today and said, "Let it go for a second and blow bubbles. Shuffle your feet in the snow and just smile for a little bit." So that's what I'm going to do (except shuffle my feet in the snow - the sun has mostly melted it all now). I have to write a speech and make a Wal-Mart run and then I will pause, blow bubbles and smile. Doesn't that sound nice? It sure does for me.

Thought of the day? Simply what my mother texted me (paraphrased, sorry Mom): God has not sent you here to fail, but to succeed, and He will be your success and your strength. Life is hard. Circumstances are awful and overwhelming. Yet, God has placed you where you are for a reason. It may be hard, but He hasn't sent you there to fail. Rely on Him for your strength and you will succeed. Also...go blow some bubbles, shuffle your feet in the snow (if it exists for you) and smile.