Just an update

Whew! Well it's been quite a while since I've posted. And quite a lot has happened since then. I don't suppose I really have much to say. Don't get me wrong, I think way too much, but not much makes sense right now. I think I'm just too busy. Or perhaps too much is going on for anything to make sense. Who knows? I just wanted to let everyone know I'm alive. I'm thinking that pretty soon things will make sense and then another blog will be here that will actually be thought provoking. Wouldn't that be amazing?!

They're adding an elevator to one of our buildings here. It's an awful sound. Drilling, hammering, shaving metal. Yuck. It's worse than nails on a chalk board. But the outcome will be good. We can accommodate more handicapped students, we can carry large boxes upstairs without killing ourselves or our backs, we can be lazy and not climb stairs. It sounds awful, but it will be good in the end.

I walked passed today while they were working. They were shaving a metal frame to make it fit inside the space. It made me cringe it sounded so horrible. I thought, "You know, that sounds like what my life feels like lately." And I as I thought more about that, I realized the more it's true. It is painful. It makes me cringe. Yet, without it it wouldn't fit. God has many plans for my life. I don't understand many of them - if any of them. And it will, in the end be good. He is shaving off things in my life. It hurts. He is hammering in his word and his principles. It's painful. He is drilling out some pain and hard spots that have been in my heart for a while. It's overwhelming, sometimes.

But I know that it is all so I can fit into his plans. It's not easy, but it's worth it. It doesn't feel or sound pretty, but in the end...O in the end! How wonderful it will be to say that God took all of the things that limited me and he shaped me and he molded me and now I fit perfectly into his design.

Perhaps you understand what I'm saying. As you read this and you feel overwhelmed or outdated. Maybe you feel overwhelmed or used. Know that the building process hurts, but the end product is worth far more than we actually have to pay.

I'm sitting in my room with Christmas lights lining the majority of my room (I have one more strand that I need to buy). It's cold outside (feels like 33) and raining. I'm wondering to myself, "Can I do it? Can I make it?" I know I can. I know I have no other choice. This semester is hard. I'm unsure of so much. But I know my God is faithful.

I'm listening to "Marshmallow World" by Dean Martin. I wish it were marshmallow world. I wish that I could take one day and say even though the world normally plows over me, I'm going to roll it into a snowball and just enjoy life. I have so much due, but I can't seem to get any of it done. It all snowballs and rolls over me. O how I long for that to change. Growing up isn't that fun. I just one day to have a marshmallow world. I want things to be sweet.

I'm not unhappy. I know that God is faithful. I know that God is still working all things out for His glory. But still...I can't help but get in at night and say, "Can I do it? Can I make it?"

The answer I always come up with is yes. It's not easy. Sometimes it's seems too hard. But it's still yes. Even though it's hard, morning always comes. Joy is still there in the hard times, we just have to claim it more. Life is still good, because my life is still God's.

But I still want my sweet, fluffy Marshmallow World...

I voted.

I was so excited when I woke up this morning. I got to vote. How amazing is that? I am able to vote. A woman. That was fought for. Long and hard. I voted. I'm proud to say my state went in favor of McCain.

O I know, I just mentioned a name! *GASP* It has nothing to do with color, it has nothing to do with parties, it has nothing to do with appearance or age. It has to do with facts. I could not vote for someone who is okay with killing children. I couldn't vote for someone who is against Israel. I hate the fact that many in Hollywood would not vote for Obama because he was against Israel, but the church couldn't step up and do it. I hate the fact that my fellow countrymen care more about how much money is in their pocket than they do about whether or not we kill innocent babies.

But my God is faithful. He is all-knowing. Within moments of the decision every one's status on facebook showed who they stood for. I do not fear these next four years. I will cling to God even more. I know that God has promised a revival like none before. I know that I will see it.

Whatever has actually happened today will be history. I may never be able to tell my children about this time, because, well, lets face it, I don't know how much longer there is the world. None of us know the future. None of us can pretend to. I don't know what will happen, but I know that my God is a sovereign, faithful, protecting God. I know that I am a child of the true King - President, if you will - and my future is secure.