Jeanne Mayo, Best Friends, My Sister, and a Nobody

I went to hear one of my heroes in the ministry speak tonight: Jeanne Mayo. She is amazing. She made a statement that really stood out to me. "You'll never change the world as long as you're trying to be like it." We all want to change the world, but few can brave not being like it long enough to impact it.

After I came home I got to talk to my best friend that's been away for awhile. We actually dared to talk about a subject that I have darted for awhile because of our different feelings on the situation. It's always nice to hear someone else's side and perhaps understand it more. I think I should do that more often. I think we all should.

My sister is the best person in the world. She taught me a very valuable lesson tonight. She's very real. If she's upset with you then you know it. If she's sad, you know it. If she's mad, you really know it. And if she loves you, you always know it. She doesn't pretend to be something she's not. I usually pretend. If I'm mad at you, you probably think I've just got a headache. If I'm sad, you probably think I just have a lot on my mind. Sadly, if I love you, you may not know all the time. It may not always make people happy to know that you respond a certain way, but, in my opinion, always being yourself and letting the rest fall into place is better than being fake.

And to conclude this post of ramblings and things, I realized tonight that it's okay to be a nobody. God spoke to me while I was at service, surrounded by a lot of people who had much more seniority than I. I felt so lost, because I've always been the one in charge or close to the one in charge;but God spoke to me and he basically said it's okay to be a nobody. It's okay to not be on top. And I started thinking about that statement, it really impacted me. Most of this nation and even I live to simply make a name for ourselves. Most the time I live to accomplish something and, yes, even see my name in lights ( there is, after all, an actress inside of me), but think about all the people who lived as a nobody. Jesus spent 30 years of his life as a nobody!! He was just a carpenters son. Even one of his soon-to-be disciples heard of him and said, "Can anything good come from Nazareth??" Paul sacrificed all of his status, as a Roman Citizen and as a Pharisee, to be a nobody. He gave it up because he saw the big in the small and he knew he was called to more than his position or his seniority. David took off his Kingly robes to dance before the Lord. He knew that his gain was nothing in the eyes of the Lord. He became a nobody to dance because he knew not even a King should be allowed in the presence of God. I've been terrified to go off to school and be a nobody, but now - now I'm going to try to look for opportunities to be a nobody. I suppose this all comes back to something that's been drilled inside of me for three summers: Servant hood. There will always be a place for a servant (nobody) and God will always see those who give up everything to serve (be a nobody). I guess, that's my goal - to be nobody.