L-O-V-E

I have also been doing a lot of thinking. Lately, my thoughts have turned to love. No, not because of Jonathan (I know someone was going to say something along those lines but stop it right now!), but because of a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She asked me what I thought of love. She then went on to describe a magical, euphoric state that seemed to last forever and carry one through one's struggles.

This got me to thinking. I don't know why such things get the wheels in my brain to turn, but they do. Anyway, the question that then came to my own mind was this: Do people fall in love or grow into love?

My own opinion is a mixture of both. People can fall into love, but it's far more dangerous then growing into love. Why? Well, on the premises that if you fall into love you can fall out. I'm not saying that it must happen this way. My boyfriend pointed out that his parents "fell into love and have stayed in love for many years." But it is a more dangerous thing. I think that people fall into attraction more easily but grow into love. True love is an unconditional love and that's not something that is found in a moment. It is developed and worked on and struggled for. Why? It's hard to love unconditionally. It involves loving unselfishly and that's just hard. I asked some of my friends what their opinions were. The most common results were "Both", "Grow", and "Depends on the people." But there were a few who said different things. One of my friends said that it's impossible to narrow down one way that people find love, that it happens in many ways and it's silly to figure out the magical quality. Another friend said that it's impossible to fall in love because you learn to love someone despite their downfalls and because of their good qualities. She went on to say that when you find the right person though it's like you have loved him/her all along. One said that both "falling in love" and "growing into love" are one of the layers of love - that love has both shallow and deep layers. That you need to admire and respect whomever you love romantically for the rest of your life. Another said that they were the same thing, that you don't just end up on the ground. And still another said that you choose to love. You choose to say, "I'm attracted to you and because of this attraction I'm going to love you."

Love, then, even if it starts instantly is matured and carried on by continuously growing that love. By constantly learning more about the other person. By consistently focusing on one's good and deciding to put the other person first.

Is that why so many marriages fail? Because people don't continue to let love grow? People say, "We just love each other anymore." But true love lasts forever. It pushes through the hard times and reaches to find out more about the other person. The euphoric feeling of love is a mere chemical that can come and go, but true love is there when the good feelings are gone. What holds people together is the consummate love (which is defined by psychologists as the strongest form of love that consists of passion, intimacy and commitment).

Is this also why so many walk away from God? Why so many grow cold and bitter? Or worse why so many become haughty and self righteous within the church? Is it because they fell in love with God but did not push through to grow that relationship? I'm not saying that is always the case. I know several amazing people who have walked away from the Lord and it has nothing to do with that at all. But is that why so many "Christians" do not know what it is to be patient, kind, loving, trusting and hopeful; but they do know how to be arrogant, rude, irritable and resentful?

I wasn't going to post anything about God in this blog. I asked several of my unbelieving friends what their opinions were on this matter and I didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that you can't separate love and God. Even romantic love, the Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. If we truly understood exactly what Christ has done for us, the sacrifice, the provision, the protection, then that statement would carry a lot more weight.

I told you I have been thinking. I suppose the final opinion of it all is this: Love is a many splendid thing.