My Grand Adventure

Grief is an odd thing. People all handle it differently. Personally, I run. I disappear and cut myself off from people. I go write - a lot. Then I push it all away so I can be strong for others. Eventually I deal with it again. Then I move on. But it's not the stages that are so odd to me, it's the dealing with it. Again, personally, when I deal with it I don't want to talk. I don't want a Kleenex. I don't want to hear that it will be okay. I just simply want a friend to hold my hand and give me a hug. Maybe even let me cry.

I don't know how to help people in grief. We are all so different. We each have a different mind and heart. We each take things, similar things, very different. Death is such an awful word. When you know someone is dying, or someone is grieving the loss of one who's dying (or has died) life goes in slow motion. What was urgent five minutes ago can wait a little while. Why is that? It's a part of life. If you have life then you have death. There is no way around that. But we still stop what we're doing when we hear the word "death" or "passed on".

"Passed on" is not my ideal phrase. I know it's the more polite way to say it, but honestly, death just isn't polite. My friend's Mom's best friend (which is actually a stronger bond than it sounds) had a brain aneurysm and they are going to take her off life support soon. My friend told me, "I don't even want to pray, but I know I should." She has such faith and such hope in life at all times, but she is in grief. Death is reaching for someone so close to her and she can't be polite.

I don't know how to help her. One of the oddest things about grief is it does teach us something. It does teach us how to move on. How to reach out. How to trust people. I know that she will make it. Grief has a tendency to either hinder people or make them stronger. I know it will make her stronger. But still...I simply wish I could help.