Do you ever have any "I left my oven on" moments? Mine seem to always happen right when I'm going to bed. Those times when your mind seem to wind down, your muscles begin to relax, and then suddenly, "Did I lock the door? I turned off the oven right? I wonder if I forgot to do any assignments for tomorrow. Was I supposed to call in to work today? I put the laundry in the dryer, right?" Just an idea of the thoughts running through my head right now. Why this made me want to blog I don't know. I think that it's just another example of uptight Americans. Even when it's time to rest it rarely happens.

I'm now off to hopefully sleep. To sum this up: always double check your oven before bed.

Happy New Year!

I can't believe I haven't posted in 2010 yet! It's weird to say, 2010...
Of course I must review 2009 since it is my first post of year. Last year was amazing. My resolution was to have more fun, and that certainly happened. Okay! Review done!

I went to Barnes&Noble tonight. I love that place. I got a new book, "The Pessimist's Guide to History." Amazing, right? I love books because they're adventurous and fun. They help achieve goals, answer questions and help you learn more about life around you and life before you. I want to learn to speed read (I decided tonight) and I also want to get a really cool organic cook book (you know for when I can afford to cook organic things...okay for when I dream about being able to afford to cook organic things).
I also love the notebooks they have there. They aren't just your average notebooks. These are special, different. They just look like they should be used when you're on an airplane heading to an amazing land or when you're fulfilling a life-time goal. They are just made for writing about adventure and spectacular days. I have two of their notebooks. One meant for adventures and one meant for everything theatre. Both only partially used. I feel like I have to save them for things that outrageously important.
I think I still want to buy other notebooks from there every time because I want to be able to fill them quickly. I want to be able to have such adventures everyday that the notebooks just spill out information. I think everyone wants their lives to be like that. Why do I think that? Because the isles most crowded tonight at Barnes&Noble were "Finances" and "Self Help." There is nothing wrong with either of those isles, nothing at all, but it shows people aren't satisfied. People want more money or the knowledge to balance what they have better. People want to be better. They want to feel better about themselves. People want to live adventurous lives and not just read about them.

I don't have a lot of money...Okay, I barely have any money. I can't afford the gas to drive all over the U.S. (although I am saving up for a road trip in May). I can't afford to go to Ireland, England, Switzerland, Greece...Everywhere! But I suppose I can be adventurous here. I can still fill up my notebooks about little Ol' Springfield. I can still have the time of my life, just living my life.

Of course, I will always be a pessimist, so we'll see how this goes.
Happy New Year.

Growing up, Christmas time, the Glory of rest

It's been quite awhile since I've been able to curl up with my computer and a cup of hot cocoa to write a blog. I realize that this reaffirms my lack of life but I'm okay with that. I find that there is a good balance when it comes to blogging. Perhaps my gaps have been a bit long, but blogging 17 times a day is also not the greatest idea.

Anyway, on with the blogging... This has been quite the year, and there is still time left. Growing up is an odd thing, though. It's not really something that you realize while it's happening. Yet, when you look back, all of a sudden, you're a bit "older" than you were before.

I hung Christmas lights in my apartment yesterday. If I don't have a tree to hang them on, I will at least hang them in my apartment. O don't get me wrong, I have a Christmas tree - only it's three feet tall with about four branches and one large red ornament causes it to bend over. Yes, my friends, it is a Charlie Brown tree. I'm so lucky.

Well, to wrap up this random mess of jumbled words, I'm loving the break this week. It's amazing how good it can be to simply do nothing (and by nothing I mean work and catch up on homework). O well, such is life...an easy life, too, I'll admit. But it's mine... and I'm good with that.

I feel like it has been ages since I have updated to inform...well my mom (lets be honest no one else really reads this) on my my life. Since my last post, my life has been pure chaos. O the wrinkles that my face has begun to sprout and the gray hairs that have made themselves known.

In all honesty, life has been hectic. Fall has somewhat been passed over here, a fact that makes me more sad every day. The few true fall days have not been as magical as they should be. I'm not sure why that is, but it is true. Not just for me either, it seems to be a fact for everyone I speak with. O well, there is not much anyone can do about it except carry on as best one can.

I realize that I should be doing homework right now, or working on things for the play (the joys of being half manager). Yet, I cannot do it. I am behind. I am staring at my books right next to me. And here I sit, on my blog. I justify it as I need a break. Or I need to pace myself. Or I don't feel well. Or.... I guess the list goes on and on and on and on and...you get the idea.

I truly am just procrastinating and not wanting to be doing homework. But since thats a bad habit I guess I shall go now...

The fair was in town when I went up to Springfield this past weekend. Even though the week made it difficult on the schools faithful security guards, made traffic and the school parking lots insane, I was glad it was there. Why? Because of the Ferris Wheel...

It was all lit up and absolutely gorgeous. I love Ferris Wheels... Especially at night. The colorful lights dance around in your mind as you go around and around. Every time you get to the top you can only smile as the breeze gently brushes your face. Certainly you can see everything from there. Memories of cotton candy and other over-priced goodies remain in your mind. There is just no better way to finish the day at a fair or amusement park than sitting at the "top of the world" surrounded by dazzling lights and someone you care for greatly. Yes, I love Ferris Wheels...

I also feel like I should make a side note that this is my 50th blog post. I probably shouldn't be this happy about that but it certainly does feel like a milestone. So, to all of the five people that will read this, thanks for reading.

I suppose if you know me at all you know that I'm slightly melodramatic. This is why most if not all of my stories are exaggerated and why my emotions are generally over the top (it's also why I randomly play out things I experience in my day as a melodrama that is extremely amusing to me and makes me laugh when no one else knows what is going on). For once I am trying my best to be extremely real with my emotions (I'm fairly sure that it's because I'm not the only over dramatic person around now and you can only have a very small amount of dramatic people in one area). Yet, in being real I have forced myself to make one conclusion: I am not the lone-wolf that I once was. I am not the lone-wolf I wish I were.

I've always been a melon (it's a Praisong thing...don't ask). I've always gotten frustrated because there were too many people around. I suppose to some extent I still do. I tend to drown in a sea of people. I also tend to be fake and formal when I don't feel comfortable around a lot of people. Despite all of this, I regret the moments where I chose to be alone when I could have spent time with my friends. I miss people. I miss having deep conversations. I miss laughing with friends. I am fairly independent most of the time. I don't need people to accomplish a task or to go out or have a good time. But I have been alone for a great deal of time and I am very lonely. I kind of feel like the social leper who has been cast out from society (in all fairness, I warned you it would be melodramatic...).

All of this was merely to say that people are important and I think that I forget that sometimes. I have amazing friends but I'm very used to them being around. I'm certainly going to try to start appreciating them more (and also on that note, my best friend is amazing...he's getting me something from NY. I asked but still surprised he's going to!). I've also realized that my friends are very very awesome for putting up with me!!!

I should be writing my paper, but instead I'm writing this...

This week has been very interesting. I've been really discouraged and unsure of whether or not I could handle it (it being the theatre world) again. Because I wasn't sure if I could handle it, I was very unsure if I could ever open and run a theatre where a cast has a mutual respect for everyone and doesn't go get wasted every night. I had some good friends who were kind enough to appease my worries, but last night at practice my director leaned over to me during a chorus number and said, "There is the future. When you're ready for them, we will have them ready for you." It made me feel good.

I've been trying lately to be more positive. I know, I know it's crazy talk for me to be positive. Yet, here I am. Most of the people I hang out with at my studio are extremely negative and I realized that it's really annoying!!!! I'm amazed I have friends if I have sounded like that my whole life! Thus, I am attempting to be positive. I will not become an optimist though, I refuse... Maybe I can be a realist. That's what I will aim for.

O and in case anyone was wondering, that does not mean I'll stop being a drama queen.